Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
