Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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