let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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