Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
