Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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