Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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