it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize