I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
