you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize