Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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