Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
