i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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