I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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