I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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