fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
