He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
