to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
