Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
