But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
