Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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