I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
