Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
