Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Still dying that you shit outside
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
