so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize