Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
