would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
