yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
