it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
