shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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