Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
