I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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