bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
