so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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