I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
