we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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