found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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