there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I touched a dick in church today
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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