I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
