I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
