Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
