I'm jealous of your bromance
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
