WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
