In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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