i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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