You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize