I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
we made out on top of his cat.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
