do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
