Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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