we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
