Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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