I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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