"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
