There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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