I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
