i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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