Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
