I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize