I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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