ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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