she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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