I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
